The Lava Channel
by YamiLava
Summary: My very own TV channel packet full of TV shows with guest stars from Beyblades, Yu-gi-oh and many more.
1. The Lava loves da people show

b-------------THE LAVA CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!-------------/b  
  
Lava- * is sitting in a control room with Hamtaro from Hamtaro (duh) and Kai from Beyblades.* so your helping me for this chapter?  
  
Kai- *nods*  
  
Hamtaro- I DON'T KNOW WHY I (CENSORED) AGREED TO THIS STUPID (CENSORED) JOB BECAUSE IT'S JUST SO (CENSORED) (CENSORED)  
  
Lava- *twitches* Will you just say the disclaimer!  
  
Hamtaro- LAVA DOES NOT (CENSORED) OWN ANY (CENSORED) THING ON THIS (CENSORED) FAN FICTION!!  
  
Lava- That's 'Lava doesn't own any of the characters on this fan fiction except for herself, the camera guy, the fit stage moving type guys and the 50 body guards. I don't own the cheesy puffs guy.I'd like to say thank you to all you viewers.  
  
Kai- Readers.  
  
Lava- What?  
  
Kai- Readers. This isn't really a TV channel, it's a fan fiction. You i read /i fan fictions.  
  
Lava- What?  
  
Kai- Forget it! Let's just run the first show.  
  
---------------THE 'LAVA LOVES DA PEOPLE' SHOW!!----------------  
  
*Lava sits in a creepy room filled with stuff like hands in jars and heads on sticks*  
  
Lava- *creepily* Welcome to the Lava's house of torture show. *evilly laughs*  
  
Camera guy- This is the Lava loves da people show.  
  
Lava- But. *takes out script and flips through it*Oh yeah the Lava's house of torture show comes later. *the creepy room is taken away by lots of fit stage moving type guys leaving behind a modern stage with three metal chairs on it. She climbs up and sits on one of them* Welcome to the Lava loves da people show!  
  
Audience- *claps*  
  
Lava- Our first guest is going to be here in a second.  
  
*The camera zooms in on a trail of peanuts coming from the door behind the stage. James from Pokemon comes on, following the trail, picking up the peanuts on his way*  
  
James- Free peanuts continently put in a trail! *He shoves them in his mouth*  
  
Lava- Give a warm welcome to JAMES!!!  
  
Audience- *claps*  
  
James- *freezes* I'm on TV?  
  
Lava- Yep, now sit down and I'll start with the questions.  
  
James- *sits down*  
  
Lava- Question 1- We all know about your life on the show but what about your life off camera? I heard you were secretly dating Togepi? What do you have to say about this?  
  
James- I am not ready to discuss my relationship with Togy Woogy at this current moment.  
  
Lava- Question number 2- If you could be any type of cheese what would it be?  
  
James- Chedder, wait what does this have to do with anything?  
  
Lava- Erm. next question. Just how many times have you blasted off?  
  
James- *crosses legs* Well Lava. I've never actually blasted off. My stunt man does a very good job. He's very talented. *stands up* THAT'S IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! I'M SORRY TOGEPI BUT I'VE MET SOMEONE ELSE! I LOVE YOU BOB THE STUNT MAN!!!!  
  
Bob the stunt man- *runs on stage* I feel the same way! *hugs James*  
  
The 50 body guards- *pulls them both off stage*  
  
Lava- That's all the time we have for today's episode of The 'Lava loves da people' show! Please say in your reviews if you like this show because that'll make me do more episodes. Next on The Lava channel is The Lava's house of torture show after the break!  
  
Audience- *claps*  
  
---------ADVERTS!!!!----------  
  
*A boy sits on the couch looking bored. His dad walks in*  
  
Dad- What's wrong Billy-Bob?  
  
Billy-Bob- There's just nothing to do! *fake sigh*  
  
Dad- *takes something out of his bag* What about this?  
  
Billy-Bob- *also fakely* FLORB!!! WOW I'VE ALWAYS WANTED ONE OF THOSE!!! *takes the weird goo stuff*  
  
Voice- FLORB!! You can stick it on your sister's mirror-  
  
*You see a girl brushing her hair in front of a mirror and FLORB!! sticks to it.*  
  
Girl- *very, very fakely* Oh no! Not FLORB!! sticking to my mirror!  
  
Voice- You can make people eat it!  
  
*The boy gives FLORB!!! on a plate to the girl who makes a fake surprised face*  
  
Voice- You can even wear it as a hat!  
  
*The boy puts it on his head and does a stupid thumbs up sign*  
  
Voice- FLORB!!!! Buy it today! *whispering* Costs £9999999999.99. Batteries not included. Highly poisonness. Not suitable for people under or over 50 years of age.  
  
---------THE LAVA'S HOUSE OF TORTURE SHOW!!!!!---------  
  
*Lava sits in a creepy room filled with stuff like hands in jars and heads on sticks again*  
  
Lava- *creepily* This is this show where anything goes.*Music starts (dun dun dun!!). Lava does shifty eyes* my imagination isn't working as well as it usually does though, due to the fact I have recently gone fully insane,*normal voice* that was in Mr. Kew's class. It's was really funny because I went on a sugar high and I got really, really depressed after it and..wait I should be all creepy in this part. *creepily* Now you shall see the full wrath of Yami Lava! *laughs evilly* MWHAHAHAA!!!  
  
*A guy comes in eating cheesy puffs*  
  
Lava-*normally* Can we please get the cheesy puffs guy out of here!  
  
Mr. Cheesy Puffs- Hey! I'm on TV! Hi mom! *He waves*  
  
*The 50 body guards come on and drag him off*  
  
Lava- Ooookkkaayy.. *creepily* Now I must go and pick my first guest! * Gets out script and looks at it. Normally* Wait that was meant to be first victim, but that doesn't make any sense, I'm not going to torture them, I'm going to be.never mind. *evilly* Now I shall get my first VICTIM!!! MWHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! *walks off and you notice that she had mysteriously grown a hump. The humps disappears as pillow falls out of her back.* Oh (censored) I mean MWHAHAHAHA!!! *runs off carrying the pillow*  
  
Lava- *back in the control room* Well I think that that was a good start to the Lava channel! What do you think guys?  
  
Kai- *reading a magazine* Wha?  
  
Hamtaro- That was the most (censored) lot of (censored) I've ever (censored) seen in my (censored) (censored) life!!! You (censored) (censored). *lots of lady ham-hams come in and he walks off with them*  
  
Lava- *twitches* I would never have believed that Hamtaro was like that from watching the TV show. Are you gonna stick around Kai?  
  
Kai- *Is wearing FLORB!!!! on his head and starting to eat the FLORB!!! that's on a plate*  
  
Lava- Well seeming as he's going to die from poisoning from eating FLORB!!! I'll take that as a no. By the way in your reviews you may say who you want to be tortured as long as I know who they are and as long as I'm not going to use them later I'll probably accept. Oh yeah and you can say who I should hire to help me out here too because I need a lot of help!  
  
Kai- Mentally and physically! *eats the FLORB!!!! and the FLORB!!!! on his head springs to life and oozes out of the door*  
  
Lava-*looks at her watch* five four three two one.*waves bye and Kai falls to the ground and the 50 bodyguards drag his body off* 


	2. Who wants to be a multibillionaire and L...

b------------------------THE LAVA CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!---------------/b  
  
Lava- *Is sitting in the control room again this time with the dead Kai, Trunks from Dragonball GT and Clover from Totally Spies* So this is the second episode, I mean chapter of The Lava Channel! *The dead Kai sits up and looks round then is dragged away by the 50 body guards again shouting 'I'm not dead yet!!'*  
  
Trunks- *twitches due to eating too much sugar* Wow this place is really exciting and great and I'd just like to say hi to my mom, my dad, my family, my bunny, all the people in the world, all the sheep in the universe and...  
  
Lava- That's nice Trunks. *nods sarcastically* What have you given up for lent?  
  
Clover- I've like given up like going out with like total like losers like, like, like.  
  
Lava- Translation anyone?  
  
*Kai runs in*  
  
Kai- She's given up going out with losers. *runs out while being chased by the 50 body guards*  
  
Lava- Trunks. The disclaimer please!  
  
Trunks- *shakes from hyperness* Lava doesn't own Dragonball GT, Totally Spies, Beyblades, Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Lava- Thankies. For a while, I'm just going to be doing my own versions of some other shows. But first, my favourite thing in the whole entire world because it's really fun; The Lava's House of Torture Show!!!  
  
------The Lava's House Of Torture Show--------  
  
Lava- *in the creepy room again. Evil smile* I have decided on a few people for today's show.  
  
*The camera goes to a shaking Tea from Yu-gi-oh hanging over a shark filled pool. Then to Pan from Dragonball GT tied up and hung just above some very sharp spears*  
  
Camera Guy- Erm, Lava. The show's been cancelled. They said at head- quarters that it's too violent.  
  
Lava- What? This is my favourite part to the Lava Channel! I'll get this show on the air, if it's the last thing I-  
  
*The screen goes blank*  
  
Voice- This show has been cancelled due to strong language and unsuitable material. Sorry for any inconvenience it has caused. Thank you.  
  
-------Lavaballs GT--------------------  
  
*The theme music starts off-  
  
In another time and place,  
  
Scattered all over space,  
  
We've got to find them all,  
  
Gotta find those Lavaballs.. Ect.*  
  
Voice- When we last saw our heroes, they had just crash landed on a planet ruled by the evil dictator, EvilStupidTypePerson-ku. They finally got the parts to get off the planet and now had to go back home and accept defeat, they had been searching for 364 days and hadn't found one yet. Unfortunately they had left Pan on the planet.  
  
*Pan walks through the market place where they are suddenly attacked by evil merchants.*  
  
Pan- *is dressed up in the stupid outfit* OH NO, I'M WEARING SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T SUIT ME!! *cries*  
  
*More merchants thrust stuff at Pan.*  
  
Pan- *runs away screaming, while being chased by the sellers*  
  
*Meanwhile on Earth.*  
  
Trunks- *gets out the dragon radar* Hey, there's a black star lavaball nearby! *Goku and Trunks walk off* Do you think we should wait for Pan?  
  
Goku- Nah. She's a big girl, she can take care of herself! * Back on the planet you see Pan being chased over the horizon by the merchants* so where's the lavaball?  
  
Trunks- Just ahead. *They walk over a hill* oookkkaaayyy..  
  
*All the DB GT characters are sitting on a beach having a party. Trunks and Goku run down the hill*  
  
Bulma- Hey Goku, Trunks! Join the party!  
  
Trunks- Don't you want to know if we have the lavaballs?  
  
Gohan- Didn't you hear? Krillin got them all in the first day!  
  
*Krillin waves from the other side of the beach*  
  
Trunks- WHAT?!? So you meant we went through all of that for nothing?!?  
  
Gohan- Yep.  
  
Hercule- Where's my little Pan?  
  
Goku- Erm, about that.  
  
Trunks- We lost her on a planet.  
  
Hercule- WHAT! How could you loose my little angel? *jumps off a cliff in despair*  
  
Buu- Buu's friend jump off cliff? Buu jump too! *jumps off the cliff too*  
  
Uub- (Sorry about my spelling...) Oh no! My old good half! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Goku- Not Uub! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Goten and Gohan- Dad! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Krillin- Goku! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Chi-chi- Sons! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Vegeta- Kakarott! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Bulma- Vegeta! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
Trunks- Mom! *jumps off the cliff*  
  
*This continues until everyone on Earth is dead except Piccolo is dead.*  
  
Piccolo- *sits on the beach eating from the buffet. Turns around* Erm, what happened? *blinks and looks over the cliff* Oh no.. *gets the black star lavaballs* I wish that everyone who jumped off this cliff in the past hour is was alive again.  
  
POOF!!!  
  
*Everyone comes back to life*  
  
Hercule- Huh? What happened?  
  
Piccolo- I used the black star lavaballs to wish you all back!  
  
Trunks- You idiot, now we'll have to start the stupid adventure again! Count me out this time! *jumps off the cliff and the whole adventure begins again*  
  
Voice- Stay tuned for the next series of Lavaball GT.  
  
------advertisements------------  
  
Voice- Have you been refused a loan because-  
  
You are retired?  
  
You have been refused a loan previously?  
  
You are asking for too much money?  
  
Then.. SOD OFF!! LOANS ARE LAME AND YOU HAVE TO PAY BACK MORE THAN YOU GET!!! SO TAKE MY ADVISE AND DON'T GET A LOAN!!! Thank you.  
  
-----------The Who Wants To Be a multibillionaire? (The Lava version)-------  
  
*Lava sits in a metal chair in a shaded stage*  
  
Lava- I'm Lava and welcome to Who Wants To Be a Multibillionaire.  
  
Audience- *applauds*  
  
Lava- My first contestant is all the way from Gundam Wing. Please welcome Heero Yue!  
  
Audience- *more applauding as Heero walks on*  
  
Lava- Heero, what do you want to do with the money you win tonight?  
  
Heero- Well Lava, I want to buy a cookie.  
  
Lava- And how much money will you need for that?  
  
Heero- One pound.  
  
Lava- So you'll need one question right to get enough money to buy a cookie! Lets start.  
  
Music- *Dun dun dun dun!*  
  
Lava- The first question is 'What colour is the grass?' Is the answer A. Purple *dun* B. Green *dun* C. Blue *dun* Or D. Cookie dough rules the earth?  
  
Heero- Hmm. That's a hard question, I think I'll take a 50/50.  
  
Lava- Computer take away two incorrect answers leaving the correct answer and another one.  
  
Cpmputer- *dun. Takes away A and C, leaving B and D.*  
  
Heero- I'm still not sure. I think I'll ask the audience.  
  
Audience- *vote 100% D.*  
  
Heero- The audience is always really stupid so I think I'll phone a friend!  
  
Lava- Who are you going to call?  
  
Heero- Lava, can I call Clover from totally spies. I think she might know it.  
  
Phone- *ring, ring* Hello?  
  
Lava- Hello Clover. This is Lava from Who Wants To Be A Multibillionaire. We've got Heero here and he's on £0.00 and hopefully with your help, we can get him up to £1.00. The next voice you hear will be Heero's.  
  
Heero- The question is What colour is the grass? Is it Green or Cookie Dough rules the Earth?  
  
Clover- Oh my gosh, I like know this one! It is so Cookie Dough rules the Earth!  
  
Heero- How sure are you?  
  
Clover- Like totally sure!  
  
Heero- That's good enough for me! Lava, I pick D!  
  
Lava- Is that your final answer?  
  
Heero- Yep.  
  
Lava- You guessed D. and your answer is CORRECT!! You win £1.00!  
  
Heero- *takes the £1.00 coin from Lava and runs off* I'M GONNA GET MY COOKIE!!!  
  
Lava- That's all we have time for today, but keep watching for more Who Wants To Be A Multibillionaire!  
  
Music- *dun dun dun dun!*  
  
Lava- *sits in the control room playing chess against herself* Oh right, we're back! Erm, hi.  
  
Clover- Like totally!  
  
Trunks- You are getting REALLY annoying!  
  
Clover- Like really, coz that's like too totally bad!  
  
Trunks- *strangles Clover* You- will- never- say- like- again! MWHAHAHA!!!  
  
Lava- *blinks* I guess you two won't be joining me next chapter.  
  
Trunks- *have strangled Clover and she's now being dragged away by the 50 bodyguards* She won't be joining you, but I will!  
  
Lava- I wouldn't be so sure! *she click her fingers and Trunks gets chased by a giant ball of cheese* Like in Indiana Jones!  
  
Trunks- *Does the Indiana Jones theme tune as Trunks runs away* AHHHH!!  
  
Giant Ball Of Cheese- *squashes Trunks then rolls out*  
  
Lava- There you go! Please review! Thankies! 


	3. Ladybugman and Lava's 'family' misfortun...

--------------THE LAVA CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --------------  
  
Lava- *is asleep in the control room with her feet up on the controls. All the little TV screens are flashing with the words 'Warning! Self destruct in 2 minutes' Spiderman from Spiderman (duh) and Snape from Harry Potter are here too*  
  
Spiderman- *hangs from the ceiling* isn't that bad? *points to the screen*  
  
Snape- *evil eyes*Very slowly* I. don't. know. *turns his head dramatically*  
  
Spiderman- Oookkkaayyyy.. I think I'll just. *hides in an air vent*  
  
Voice from speakers- We have a 10 60 situation. I repeat we have a 10 60 situation. *lots of MI6 guys run in with guns* No that's a 10 90.  
  
MI6 guys- Oh sorry. *run out*  
  
Voice from speakers- WE HAVE A 10 60!!  
  
Screen- Warning! Self destruction in 1 minute.  
  
Yami- *walks in and look around* Not again. *pokes Lava* How many times do I have to tell you not to fall asleep on the self destruct button? *points to a yellow button that says 'TO SELF DESTRUCT CHANNEL'*  
  
Lava- Oooo sorry. *sits up. Looks at Yami with shiny eyes* I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. *flutters eyelashes*  
  
Yami- *backs away* Ooookkaayyyy... I need to go.. Erm.. Think of better excuse to leave a room with a crazy authoress in it! *runs away*  
  
Lava- THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! *points at the so called dead Kai who runs into the room while being chased by lots of bodyguards*  
  
Kai- What? Can't I stay? I've learnt my lesson! I'll never eat FLORB!!! again! *stops* I think I'll just. *eats some FLORB!!* Oh *censored*. *dies and gets dragged out by the bodyguards*  
  
Lava- Well that got rid of him! Now onto my reviews! WOW! TWO reviews. I would like to answer to those TWO reviews.  
  
To Ereina-chan- Aww thankies for saying that it was funny; my sister just laughs at my bad grammar and spelling. It means a lot to me.. Unfortunately Lava's House of Torture has been CANCELLED. *goes nearer to the camera* don't worry though. I will get it back! Nobody can stop me! NOBODY!!! MWHAHAHA!!! *back off and straightens up* don't worry about obsessing about Yami, he's my *in air quotes* 'imaginary' friend who's helping me and my friend with our gym routine at school. He's an Olympic gymnast who does flips and goes through the basket ball hoop! I have many companies seeming as I'm a multibillionaire who rules ALL *whispers* her fan fictions. What's your company called? And don't worry about the random thing, it happen to me all the cheese, I mean time. Keep reviewing!  
  
To The-Ominous*Haphazard. *shiny eyes* Is it really the most funny thing you ever read? *cries* I'd like to thank me and me and cheese and Yami and Goten and me and me! But really you should read SetoWriter12345's stories about Yu-gi-oh (if you watch it) I really like them! If you want to be more like me then become a vegetarian, it does wonders for your brain! (it screws it up so you can't think properly due to lack of protein.)  
  
Lava- Spiderman. Do the disclaimer!  
  
Spiderman- But I don't. *looks at her evil glare* want to miss a big opportunity like this! Lava doesn't really own any of the characters in this fan fiction except for herself, Ladybugman, *  
  
Lava- Thankies! But now I must get on with my channel! *looks evilly at Snape and Spiderman who look worried. Snape climbs up into Spiderman's air vent*  
  
--------------Ladybugman---------------  
  
Theme music- Ladybugman, Ladybugman, she does anything a Ladybug can. She climbs up walls, dun dun dun (I can't remember the rest of the Spiderman theme music) she's got radioactive blood! Look out! Here comes the Ladybugman!  
  
*Lava in red PJs comes webslinging over a city(don't ask me why it's ladybugMAN rather than ladybugGIRL, it just goes like that..). She jumps onto a building. Suddenly Doc Oct (played by Darien from sailormoon) appears on the building*  
  
Doc Oct- *trying to put on a stupid Russian accent. Unenthusiastically* Now I have you Ladybugman. *Is wearing a octopus costume* I will crush you with my metal tentacles.. Arg..  
  
Ladybugman- *enthusiastically* OH NO! NOT DOC OCT! *does the dumb webbing hand thingy* Oh no! I'm out of webbing! I guess I'll just have to beat him up with my super lava-like strength! *hits one of the tentacles*  
  
DO- Oh no.. not my unbreakable tentacle.  
  
Ladybugman- Ha! Now Doccy Occy, you'll pay for hurting my, I mean Petteta Parker's Aunt March! *punches him*  
  
DO- Hey! Lava! The deal was I joined in and you'll give me a cookie. You said no real punches!  
  
Ladybugman- *punches him and he flies off the building*  
  
DO- I'M GONNA GET YOU FOR THIS LAVA!!!  
  
*Ladybugman webslings down to her house and changes her costume into normal clothes. Aunt March called from outside the door.*  
  
Aunt March- Hey Petteta. Is that you? Would you like a snack?  
  
Petetta- Erm. no.  
  
Aunt March- Oh yeah. Harriet rang.  
  
Petteta- Again? Tell him, that I'm not Lavagirl and that his crazy reflection that keeps talking to him is stupid.  
  
Aunt March- Erm.No. He just wanted to know if you've done your English homework.  
  
Petteta- Oh. Yeah I've done my English homework.*nods* I think I sorted that pretty well.  
  
Aunt March- And your boss at the Daily Buggle called and said he wants you to come down straight away.  
  
*Petteta changes back into Ladybugman and webslings to the Daily Buggle building. She walks into Yay Yama Yamerson office*  
  
Yay- Ladybugman! Why are you so late?  
  
Petteta- I don't know what you're talking about. I'm not Ladybugman. *shifty eyes*  
  
Yay- *sarcastically* Yeeaaahhh rriiigghhht. You conviently just disappearing when Ladybugman appears.. Of course you're not her.  
  
Petteta- Now that we've got that sorted out, what did you want me for?  
  
Yay- I need an interview with Ladybugman.  
  
Petteta- How much does it pay?  
  
Yay- About £50 per question. *whispers* minus tax, the money I want to keep, the me being mean payment. that makes about £10 all together.  
  
Petteta- £10? No way.  
  
Yay- I could get this interview from any of my other journalists. You should be happy that you've got this job!  
  
Petteta- Nobody else could get an interview with Ladybugman, because I am Ladybugman!  
  
Yay- *stops a tape recorder that was on the desk* Finally my big story!  
  
~~A week later~~  
  
*The town has all burnt down and nobody's around except for all the bad guys who are blowing up everything. You see a newspaper blow across the scene in the wind. The headline is- 'Petteta Parker is really Ladybugman!' By Yay Yama Yamerson.*  
  
The pink goblin- *picks up the newpaper* This newspaper was always my favourite!  
  
-----------------Adverts------------------------------  
  
(I haven't really seen any good adverts to mock recently, so excuse me if it's not too good, this is just mocking a advert I saw in a magazine)  
  
Screen- *writing appears on the screen* DO YOU NEED SOME GOOD ENTERTAINMENT?  
  
Second screen- THEN LOOK NO FARTHER!  
  
Third screen- *flashes* POKEMON ON ICE!!!  
  
*You see lots of people in really stupid pokemon costume where you can see the zips and the places where the heads come off*  
  
Voice- Join Ash and all this friends in a heartfelt story of friendship, adventure and romance *The person who's meant to be Ash (but is really like 30 years old) skates forward and hugs the person in the stupid pikachu outfit*  
  
Voice- Performed by expert skaters. *Everyone skates around and lots of them fall over*  
  
Voice- So come see this awe inspiring show today on an ice rink near you. *very quickly and quietly* Only performed in the village of Antiwa in Antarctic, batteries not included, strobe lighting will almost certainly blind and kill you. *normally* So see you there kids! And if your parents won't let you blackmail, threaten and hold them at gun point till they do!  
  
-------------Lava's family misfortunes------------------  
  
(I'm not that good on the rules so excuse me if I don't get all the rules the same as family fortunes..)  
  
*Lava stands on a modern stage in front of a podium, holding some question cards. Two teams are standing either side of her*  
  
Lava- Welcome to Lava's family misfortunes! Now our first 'family' *in lil air quotes* is the Girls-too-stupid-for-their-own-good family! I'd like to welcome Serena (from sailor moon) Tea (from Yu-gi-oh) Yukomo (from Shinzo. Sorry about spelling) Pan (from DBGT) and Jesse (from Pokemon)  
  
*The Girls-too-stupid-for-their-own-good family all jump up and down and wave energetically and smile dumbly*  
  
Lava- Next is the Guys-who-act-too-cool-for-their-own-good family! Please give a round of applause to Yami Yugi (from Yu-gi-oh) Vegeta (from DBZ) Darien (from Sailor moon) Gary (from Pokemon) and Heero (from Gundam Wing).  
  
*The Guys-who-act-too-cool-for-their-own-good family stay standing still. A few of them run their finger through their hair a couple of times swiftly*  
  
Lava- Now I presume you all know how to play. *The -who-act-too-cool-for- their-own-good family nod. The Girls- too-stupid-for-their-own-good family look bewildered and look around worriedly* Good. Our first topic is-  
  
Millennium Items.  
  
Tea- *presses her buzzer* The Millennium tube 'o lipstick!  
  
Lava- Lets see where that goes. *looks at shiny board*  
  
Buzzer- ER ER! *A big cross appears on the board on their side*  
  
Lava- Sorry but it's WRONG! And you know what that means!  
  
Audience- Torture time!  
  
Lava- *grabs a pointy stick and rounds on Tea*  
  
Manager- Lava! What did I tell you about torture on this channel?  
  
Lava- *thinks* It's okay as long as I only torture Tea?  
  
Manager- No! No doing it at all.  
  
Lava- *looks disappointed* fine. what time is it?  
  
Audience- It's truth or dare time!  
  
Tea- Wha?  
  
Lava- Truth or Dare?  
  
Tea- Truth! I mean Dare!  
  
Lava- You're one brave girl! Picking truth AND dare! First the truth. What is your biggest fear?  
  
Tea- Being rejected by my one love- GARY!  
  
Lava- Oookkaayyy... *Gary blinks, still trying to look cool* I dare you to ask out Gary.  
  
Audience- Ooooo  
  
Tea- Gary! Will you be my boyfriend?  
  
Gary- What the hell are you think? I don't like you! In fact I HATE YOU!  
  
Tea- NOOOOO!!!! *runs out of the studio*  
  
Lava- *evil grin. Rubs her hands together menacingly* One down.. Four to go. I think I'll move onto the next topic. Sailor Scouts.  
  
Serena- *presses the buzzer* Sailor Cute Fluffy Bunny Planet!  
  
Lava- Lets see if that's an answer.  
  
Buzzer- ER ER! *another red cross appears on the board*  
  
Lava- And you know what time it is now!  
  
Audience- TRUTH OR DARE!  
  
Serena- Truth!  
  
Lava- Would you rather go out with Darien or Yami?  
  
Serena- I have to tell the truth! Yami!  
  
Darien- What? I'm your BOYFRIEND!  
  
Yami- That's gross! *twitches* Lava. You do the honors!  
  
Lava- Yay! OPEN YOUR MIND! *The screen with Serena's face freezes and turns bluey. Then it cracks and shatters. Serena's body just stands there*  
  
Manager- What did you do to her?  
  
Lava- I sent her to the shadow realm. *cute face* Not a problem is it?  
  
Manager- Nope. *The bodyguards drag her out*  
  
Lava- Two down. three to go.. MWHAHAHA!!!! The next topic is Name a Pokemon.  
  
Pan- *pushes the buzzer* Fluffly pink taro!  
  
Lava- Lets see if that was a correct answer?  
  
Buzzer- ER ER! *another cross appears on their side of the board*  
  
Lava- Sorry that was the WRONG answer.  
  
Jesse- If you had just left that to me, we would have got it right! *slaps her*  
  
Pan- It's not my fault! *slaps her back*  
  
Jesse- I'm the one that comes from the land with the pokemon in! *they get into a bi*** fight and the bodyguards drag them out*  
  
Lava- Four down. one to go. I know that you've lost all your lives, but I think I'll be nice and give you one extra chance!  
  
Yukomo- Thank you. You're very kind.  
  
Lava- *snorts* The next topic is Evil People.  
  
Yukomo- *reaches for the buzzer*  
  
Heero- *presses buzzer* Pashmina (from Hamtaro)  
  
Lava- *coughs* That's-coughs- not- coughs- the-coughs- right- coughs- answer.  
  
Heero- *stands there dimly*  
  
Lava- Fine. Lets see if that's a correct answer.  
  
Buzzer- ER. wait it's the top answer..  
  
Lava- Wha? *Pashmina flashes at the top of the board* Well who'd of thought?  
  
Mysterious voice- Me.  
  
Lava- Where did that come from?  
  
Mysterious voice- Down here! *Everyone looks down at a little hooded figure that is about 5 inches tall*  
  
Yami- Oookkkaaayyy.  
  
Yukomo- It's so small, it must be our friend!  
  
Vegeta- None of us can fight that puny little thing.  
  
Heero- How about I squash it in my gundam?  
  
Gary- Hey! Eeevee could kill it more effectively than you!  
  
Mysterious figure- SHUT UP! *takes down hood*  
  
Everyone- *gasp*  
  
Mysterious figure- Yes it is I. PASHMINA! *holds a gun*  
  
Everyone- *gasp*  
  
Pashmina- Now get back! I'm taking over this channel! And if you refuse. I'll shoot you all!  
  
Yukomo- *steps forward* Wouldn't you rather be our friend?  
  
Pashmina- *shoots Yukomo*  
  
Lava- Five down. no more left.. MWHAHAHAHA! I am victorious!  
  
Pashmina- Shut up or I'll shoot you too!  
  
Lava- O.O  
  
Kai- *Runs in. He's still being chased by the bodyguards* AHHHHH!!!! *squashes Pashmina*  
  
Pashmina- X.X  
  
Everyone- yay! All hail Kai!  
  
Lava- But he's dead!  
  
Everyone- Good point! Bodyguards, get him!  
  
Kai- *runs off* But I'm not deeeaaaddddd!!!!  
  
Lava- Guy-who-act-too-cool-for-their-own-good family win!  
  
Vegeta- What do we win?  
  
Lava- *rummages in pockets* Errmmm.. 40p and a bus token.  
  
Yami- ALL RIGHT! I get dibs on the bus token!  
  
All the rest of the guys team- OOooohhhhh..  
  
Lava- That's all we have time for! Join again for another episode of Lava's Family Misfortunes!  
  
Lava- *back in the control room* Oookkkkaaayyyy... What did you think of it?  
  
Snape- *stands there looking evil. Swishes his hair*  
  
Spiderman- You still scare me..  
  
Lava- O.o'' I think I'll end up. Please review! *chases Snape and Spiderman around the room with an axe* 


	4. Phobia Factor and Dismayblades

------------THE LAVA CHANNEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!--------------------  
  
Lava- *sits in the control room* Seeming as my old presenters mysteriously disappeared *evil grin* I've got two new ones. Say hi!  
  
Ranma- (from Ranma 1/2) *waves energetically* HELLO!  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- (From my FF Yami's evil plot) Meow. *evil glare*  
  
Lava- Ranma will you do the disclaimer?  
  
Ranma- I don't want to!  
  
Lava- *pours cold water on him (I think that's the right way round. Cold water=girl Hot water=boy?) and he turns into a girl*  
  
Ranma- You think turning me into a girl's gonna make me change my mind?  
  
Lava- No. But this will! *takes out a pink hippo soft animal and a pair of scissors*  
  
Ranma- Not PINKY! I'll do the disclaimer! Lava doesn't own anything in this fan fiction except herself, the random workers and Mr. Fwuffles. Now give me back Pinky! *snatches the hippo* its okay now Pinky. You're safe. *hugs it*  
  
Lava- *twitches* I knew I should have made Mr. Fwuffles do it.  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- Meow. *thinking* I HATE DOING (censored) DISCLAIMERS!!!  
  
Lava- *blinks* that was weird. Why can't I get normal people to come on?  
  
Kai- *runs in still being chased* IIII''''''MMMMMMM NNNNOOOORRRMMMAAAALLLLL *runs out*  
  
Lava- Suuuureee you are, Mr. Dead guy. I think I'll start with a show. *turns to a TV screen*  
  
------------Phobia Factor------------  
  
*Lava, who now amazingly has an American accent stands in a room with four other people.*  
  
Lava- I'm Lava. Welcome to Phobia Factor. Today's contestants for winning 50p are Spike from Cowboy Beebop, Duo from Gundam Wing, Tenchi from Tenchi Universe and Mokuba from Yu-gi-oh.  
  
Spike- *nods*  
  
Duo- *waves frantically*  
  
Tenchi- *waves*  
  
Mokuba- *waves to everyone*  
  
Seto- *is also standing on stage. Coughs*  
  
Lava- Oh yeah, I forgot. Mokuba wasn't allowed to come unless his big brother came with him.  
  
Seto- *waves*  
  
Lava- Are you all ready to see what your first challenge?  
  
Everyone- *nods*  
  
Lava- Well our first test is. well you'll see.. *She leads them to a small black room with a black and white TV screen in the corner and one door* this is the room you'll all be waiting in. Now what you have to do, is get through this maze.  
  
Tenchi- AHHHH!!!! NOT A MAZE!  
  
Lava- *sweat drop* that's not the scary part.  
  
Spike- *shakes* if that's not the scary part.. What is?  
  
Lava- The maze is going to be full of obstacles like arrows shooting from the hedge ect.  
  
Everyone- Phew.  
  
Lava- What?  
  
Duo- We thought it might have bunnies in it or something.  
  
Everyone- *shudders*  
  
Lava- Oookkkkaayyyy.. Now I'll randomly select someone I don't like here. *points to Tenchi* You!  
  
Tenchi- Wha? *gets shoved through the door*  
  
Everyone- *watches as Tenchi makes his way through the maze in a time of 25 hours 55 minutes*  
  
Tenchi- *very dirty and bloody* I'm.. here.. *collapse*  
  
Lava- Next person is Duo. *shoves Duo through the door*  
  
Everyone- *watches the screen as Duo makes his way through the maze in a time of 25 hours 54 minutes*  
  
Duo- *bursts through the door* Gar.. *collapse*  
  
Lava- Spike! You're next! *shoves him through the door*  
  
Everyone- *watches him make his way through the maze, but unfortunately he gets shot with an arrow when he's opening the door to come back into the room*  
  
Spike- *dies*  
  
Lava- Can I get him cleaned up?  
  
Cleaning crew- *pulls him off*  
  
Lava- Okay Mokuba. You're next.  
  
Mokuba- Okay! *walks through the door followed by Seto*  
  
Lava- *watches them make their way through the maze and they burst through the door with a time of 33 seconds*  
  
Mokuba- That was fun! *skips to the back of the room*  
  
Seto- *very bruised and ill looking* Eeeekkk. *faints*  
  
Voice- After many hours of poking and evil things being done to them, Seto, Duo and Tenchi woke up.  
  
Lava- Tenchi. You loose.  
  
Tenchi- *faints and gets dragged off by the cleaning crew*  
  
Lava- Now we're left with 2 contestants.  
  
Seto- *coughs*  
  
Lava- And an annoying big brother. *leads them to another little room, this one's pink*  
  
Mokuba- Ooo shiny!  
  
Lava- This challenge will determine the winner. You have to be locked in a room.  
  
Duo- AHHH!!!!!  
  
Lava- *rolls eyes* Still not the scary part..  
  
Duo- Oh.  
  
Lava- With. 10 bunnies, 5 clowns and a bunch of Kawaii crazed fan girls.  
  
Everyone cept Mokuba- AHHHH!!!!!  
  
Lava- Now for the one I don't like most being 'randomly' picked. *shoves Duo in the room*  
  
Word appearing on screen- DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. IT IS VERY DANGEROUS ESPECIALLY IF YOU ARE A VERY KAWAII ANIME GUY.  
  
Duo- *bangs on the door* LET ME OUT!!!!  
  
Lava- *opens the door and he runs out* It's only been 10 seconds..  
  
Duo- *dies*  
  
Lava- Okay Mokuba. You're turn!  
  
Mokuba- *skips in the room*  
  
Seto- *runs after him*  
  
Lava- Lets have some TV coverage of this. *gets out a remote control and turns on a TV*  
  
TV- *shows Mokuba sitting down in the corner of the room with headphones in. Seto's being chased by evil clowns with knives and killer bunnies. The fan girls keep running him over*  
  
Voice- Twenty six and a half hours later..  
  
Lava- *has headphones in*  
  
Seto- *is continuously banging on the door as he has been doing for the last twenty six hours*  
  
Mokuba- *takes out his headphones* Oh, you want to leave? Okay. *presses a big red button next to the door that says in big writing- 'press if you want to leave'*  
  
Seto- *anime fall*  
  
Lava- *takes out headphones* Oh right. you win. *gives him 50p*  
  
Mokuba- All right! Now I can buy half a cookie!  
  
Seto- All THIS FOR 50P?? I COULD HAVE GIVEN YOU 50P IN THE FIRST PLACE, I'M A BILLIONAIRE!!  
  
Mokuba- *skips away*  
  
Seto- *dies*  
  
Lava- *puts back in the headphones*  
  
------------ADVERTS----------------  
  
A woman with yellowy teeth stand in a bathroom looking at their teeth.  
  
Voice- Hey you!  
  
Woman- *looks around confused*  
  
Voice- Yes you! Are your teeth all horrible and yellow?  
  
Woman- *nods*  
  
Voice- Can you never get a date because of your horrible teeth?  
  
Woman- *nods*  
  
Voice- Do you have no friends because of your horrible yellowy teeth?  
  
Woman- *nods*  
  
Voice- Are you a twenty foot pink elephant wearing a party hat because of your horrible yellowy teeth?  
  
Woman- *nods*  
  
Voice- Then try AQUASPLASH! With it's gentle cleaning techniques  
  
*Shows clip of the lady hitting her teeth with a large hammer with an Aquasplash hammer* and great taste *Shows clip of the lady using Aquasplash and turning VERY green* it'll brighten your teeth and your day!  
  
A model (who looks nothing like the original person) with very shiny white teeth stands in a bathroom looking at her teeth.  
  
Voice- Is that better now?  
  
Model- *thumbs up sign and anime wink*  
  
Voice- *whispering very quickly* Highly poisonous, do not use in bathroom, kitchen, living room, aw heck don't use it ever, if rashes occur, which they most certainly will, don't sue, we warned you! *loudly* BUY IT TODAY!  
  
--------Dismayblades--------------------  
  
*Kenny, Ray, Kai, Max and Tyson are walking down a street. Tyson, Max and Kenny aren't wearing anything except their underwear and it's raining*  
  
Lava- Hey Kai. aren't you meant to be dead?  
  
Kai- I WAS NEVER DEAD!  
  
Lava- Okay. I'll let you do this show, but after that you have to be dead again.  
  
Kai- Wha?  
  
Lava- Now continue.  
  
Kenny- Isn't that such bad luck that we got caught out in the rain without any food, water, shelter, clothes, money, shoes, our beyblades or anything what so ever except for our underwear!  
  
Max- Why is it that these bad things always happen to us? *A bus drives past and soaks Kenny, Max and Tyson leaving Ray and Kai*  
  
Ray- Bad things never happen to me and Kai but they always happen to you. Do you think that maybe we're really in a TV show that's got some rubbish name like The Guys With No Luck or Dismayblades or something like that and people are doing these things to you on purpose for some sort of sick comedy?  
  
Everyone- *pauses* Nah! *Snake from The Simpson's runs up to them and steals Tyson's hat*  
  
Snake- Yonk! *runs off*  
  
Kenny- Dizzy. What should we do? Wait, where's Dizzy? AHHH!!! MY COMPUTER'S GONE!! *falls to his knees and starts to cry*  
  
Kai- Well personally I think you three had it coming, you're just not as cool as me and Ray.  
  
Tyson- WHAT? I'm Mr. Cool!  
  
Everyone- *snorts*  
  
Ray- He's right, you know Tyson. Maybe if you weren't all stupid and you didn't have that stupidly fat face then you might be able to have some luck.  
  
Kai- Hey Ray. I've got an idea!  
  
Ray- What?  
  
Kai- Let's ditch these guys and start our own circus!  
  
Ray- We can call it Ray and Kai's Big top extravaganza!  
  
Kai- Yeah! *runs off with Ray*  
  
Tyson, Max and Kenny- *get struck by lightning and die*  
  
Voice- Kai and Ray's circus was very successful and drew thousands to every show. Tyson, Max and Kenny stayed dead for several years until finally they woke up and started their own candy store which mysteriously got burnt down.  
  
Lava- *sits in control room* Well that turned out nicely! *Is stuffing Easter eggs in her mouth* I'm sorry for all those people who actually LIKE Tyson, Kenny and Max. *snorts*  
  
Ranma- *Is sitting in the corner crying. He's clutching some pink fluff* Pinky. Why Pinky?  
  
Mr. Fwuffles- Meow?  
  
Lava- Oh that. I cut up his pink hippo. It scared me. Now if you two would like to come with me. *eyes glint evilly*. I'll show you where you can find the bathroom. *hides a flamethrower behind her back* Oh and people who are reading, please review and thankies for reading. *Mr. Fwuffles and Ranma innocently follow Lava* 


End file.
